Sunday, 4 July 2010

Cult of the Apple

Two days before May 28, hundreds of people started lining up in the streets of Ginza. Tension flared as policemen attempt to keep the sidewalks open amidst hordes of fans. No, dude, they weren't waiting to shake hands with the Pope. Haven't you been following the news? It was the launch of the iPad, dude!

Still remember the time when iPhone was launched? We thought it was the coolest gadget ever invented! Who could have thought the guys would size it up to make a ubercool gadget? They call it the iPad. Whoa! My friends have one, so do my neighbour's pet dog. I ought to get one for myself too. In fact, I would get one for my grandma's 81-st birthday too.

Dude, you don't get the picture, do you? It's the iPad, the symbol of class. Sipping a cup of Espresso in Coffee Bean ain't going to get you the babes you want anymore. If you wish to get the babes making a beeline for you, flash your iPad. It's the ultimate babe magnet.

Of course, it can be an iPhone, an iPod, or even an iMac too. They are the holy grail of human technology. Ah, yes, feast on the sleekness of design. Feel the contours of the body's tapering. Oh yes, the jolts of excitement, the rush of hormones...

Apple's products are created in God's image; they're flawless. iPhone 4G signal loss problems? I can only imagine these resulting from idiocy on the users' part. Hasn't Steve Jobs the Great clarified that issuePoor iPad performance? Blasphemy! Blasphemy!

Just in case you have been living under a coconut shell for the past decade, Apple has been answering to all of our prayers. Steve Jobs has the power to satiate your technological needs. Well, sometimes, you don't even know you need the latest iProduct, but you buy one anyway, because... Well, because it's from Apple, of course!

Oh yes, submit to the powers of the Mighty Apple. Hail Steve Jobs, our shepherd! May he bring order to the technological world!

0 persons flung their shoes: