Saturday, 26 February 2011

First Anniversary (Part III) - Resolutions

| 0 persons flung their shoes
I hate to be apart from you. Some nights, after putting down the phone, it's hard to fall asleep even though I've just talked to you. The deafening silence of the room reminds me how much I miss you. A girl who's willing to wait for his return - what else can a guy wish for? Remember the hesitance we had before we got together? How we worried if things would work out even though we're apart? I thought it would be irresponsible of me to keep you waiting. But at the same time, there is this selfish desire of wanting you for myself. That is why when you eventually promised to be with me, I fell in love with you even more.

First Anniversary (Part II) - Watershed

| 0 persons flung their shoes
The sound of the closing door reverberated through the room. Every thing was familiar but it now felt emptier than when I left a month ago. All by myself now, I no longer had to hold them back. The welled up tears broke loose.

I was missing her already. What's left with me now was the memories of the things we did together in the previous month. Those memories that I had diligently etched to my mind so that I could relive them at times like this. But instead of relieving me of my longingness for her, I grew even more dispirited. Despite the feelings that we had for each other, there was this psychological watershed we were not ready to cross. The fact that I was still going to be in Japan for the next few years shut the door on any prospects we could have.

First Anniversary (Part I) - Shared Memories

| 0 persons flung their shoes
Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship.
It has been almost a year since we last saw each other. A phone call every night, frequent exchange of short messages, and an occasional love letter - these are what have been keeping our love strong. Yet at the same time, they can never appease my yearning for her physical presence.

That's why they say long-distance relationships are never easy. But the irony is, if I hadn't left to study in Japan, we wouldn't have been together. I would have forever remained that awkward teenager whom she had once rejected during high school (18 was a dreadful age). It is these five years of life overseas that made me shed my former self. Appearance-wise, I'll never star in a J-drama, and my fashion sense is still no better than a garden slug's. But at least I can now cook, handle household chores and settle the bills by myself. I keep a couple of part-time jobs to fund my retirement savings. So I guess that makes up for my other shortcomings.

Our mutual friends think it's a surprise how we got together despite the distance. That's pretty understandable - we surprised ourselves too. Instead of attributing it to pure coincidence, I prefer to read it as nothing other than a sign of romantic destiny. But even if our destinies were woven by some higher power in the heavens (10,000m up there), I believe it still takes some form of initiative from both sides to ignite a relationship. For us, it was my asking her out, and her willingness to open herself to me.