Sunday, 12 July 2009

Doomsday Prophecies

The solar eclipse coming up next Wednesday (July 22) is said to be the longest total solar eclipse that will occur in this century. While the rest of the world is jumping with joy at this rare occurence, the fate of the world troubles me.

You see, solar eclipse and doomsday is like vodka and sex. Vodka leads to sex; solar eclipse leads to doomsday. It's the most natural chain of events imaginable.

When it comes to doomsday, Nostradamus and his fellow seers have plenty to say. They've presented all sorts of fantastic doomsday scenarios one can possibly come up with. Natural disasters, nuclear war, rampaging humanoids, meteor strike, ice age, invasion of the ugly-butt martians... The list goes on. Sitting right on the top of the list at the second place is Santa Claus, who is believed to bring destruction to the world. The first place, of course, belongs to none other than Jesus Christ, our saviour.

In keeping up with tradition, I thought I ought to come up with my own prophecy for doomsday. Unfortunately it isn't easy to come up with a fresh doomsday scenario these days; Hollywood has explored all the possibilities.

All, but perhaps not this one...

A friend of mine suddenly had the urge for chicken rice. Not long ago, it happened that someone mentioned of a chicken rice restaurant in Suidobashi and I've been planning to try it out too. And so, we agreed on going for a dinner date last Sunday.

On the train bound for Suidobashi, I somehow felt being out of place but it took me a while to realize I was the only guy in the train. The rest were all girls.

For one moment, I thought I'd boarded the ladies-only train but that couldn't be possible because they're only available early in the morning and late at night... Which led to only one other explanation - by some divine miracle, all men vanished in a blink of the eye and what was left of the world now was me and the ladies!

My fantasies was short-lived though. It just happened there was a Tohoshinki concert at Tokyo Dome and the girls were heading there.

Nevertheless, I barely felt disappointed. Instead, I believe it was a divine sign. Think solar eclipse. Think doomsday. And bam! This is a sign which says that I must stay in a train when eclipse starts. And when it's all over, I shall go forth and repopulate the world.

On second thought, doomsday is supposed to wipe out all of mankind so this doesn't technically count as a doomsday prophecy.

Dang, I've to come up with something else. Forget about writing it down though, because prophecies are more accurate when they're not put on paper...

Ten days till the solar eclipse. Brace yourselves, make your prayers. May god bless you.

8 persons flung their shoes:

Kim Huey said...

そいえば、Read this.

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/7/12/columnists/vasthusastra/4288984&sec=vasthusastra

quote: "Everyday activities that should be avoided during the time of the eclipse are sleeping, conjugal relations, swimming, holding meetings and weddings and all religious or special events."

So, dont drink vodka during eclipse. It wont lead you to anywhere.

Zzzyun said...

seriously, is there sucha thing as a ladies only train??

Kryptos said...

kimmy>> no fornication during eclipse? oh well, not that it lasts a whole day.

zyun>> in japan, yes. during peak hours in the morning and at night. because ppl tend to 混水摸鱼 on sardine-packed trains.

Zzzyun said...

wow i didnt know tat...its a good thing though. well for ladies la haha

Dan_z said...

haha count urself momentarily lucky i think to be the only guy in a train carriage filled with gals is as hard as striking lottery =P

btw hv u heard bout the 2012 doomsday theory? lol theres gonna b another holywood film on it by the maker of the day after tmr... gonna b a bad ass movie haha

Kryptos said...

d mayan thingy? 2012-12-21?

y worry about that when they say it's gonna end next week?

made ur prayers?

Dan_z said...

of cuz i prayed d... i am so gonna wake up in a land filled with hot chicks and i am the only guy wahahhaa

manaalmahdi said...
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